Thursday, September 21, 2017

images I am inflicting on my students in ~10 minutes

Today we're talking about different methods of annotation.














Also, free dungeon maybe?

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Vyzor custom screen exterior

I don't think I ever showed these babies off.  These inserts were made prior to Szazsraz burning down the Rosy Chambers or the quest for the Hidden Dojo.





Monday, September 18, 2017

Meet the Octopeople

This post goes out to Frank Mitchell.

awesome art by Dennis Loubet

BX Octopeople
Ac: 7 or better
HD: 2*
Mv: 90'(30')
Attacks: up to 3
Dmg: by weapon(s)+3
No.App: 2d6 (2d6)
Save: F2
ML: 8
TT: U+V
Al: Chaotic

These strange cephaloids left the sea eons ago, perhaps as part of the same ancient conflict that forced the kuo-toa underground.  Nowadays their numbers have waned, but they still try to make war on the primitive vertebrates of the surface world.

The advanced musculature of the octopeople race grants all members of it an 18 Str.  Owing to their fast reflexes, a group composed enitrely of octopeople receives +1 on group initiative rolls.

Octopeople fight with 3 primary and one off limb, giving them up to three attacks per round. If an octoperson wields a two-handed weapon or uses a shield, reduce the total number of attacks accordingly.

1 in 6 octopeople will possess the class abilities of a magic-use, thief, cleric, etc. of level 2-7.  Some octopeople warriors wear chain or plate into battle.  No other known race can wear their armor.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

random advancement chart: Pandimensional Vagabond

Walkers among worlds gain stranger powers during their uncanny peregrinations.  To qualify to roll below, the character must have participated in adventures in at least three different dimensions/planes/campaign worlds, including their homeworld.  This random advancement chart may be used as a one-off substitution for a single normal advancement roll.  To use it again, you must adventure in a previously unvisited world, level up afterwards, and sacrifice a roll on another chart.

Note that several items on this chart assume that your crazy dimension-hopping PC has some undocumented, noncanonical adventures between your known exploits.

Pandimensional Vagabond

01-03  You gain an extra d8 hit die but you must reroll it every time you visit a new campaign world/plane/dimension.
04-05  You gain +3 saves versus any sort of energy attack that isn't one of the four Greek elements (i.e. fire/heat, air/wind, water/cold, or earth).  Reroll if you get this result again.
06  You've gotten really good at first aid.  If immediately after combat you bind wounds, you can heal d4 damage to a number of people equal to your level.
07-09  You know what surprised you the most about travelling between universes?  A whole lot of Creation really stinks.  No, literally.  You are now +4 saves versus reek attacks like stinking cloud, ghast farts, troglodyte B.O., etc.
10-11  You've been in barroom brawls in all the trashiest universes.  You may make 2 unarmed strikes per round for d3 damage each.  If you roll a 19+ your foes must save versus paralyzation or be knocked out cold.
12  Seeing how big the universe is tends to make a lot of human conflicts seem petty.  You gain +1 Wisdom and your alignment shifts one step closer to true neutrality.  You do not lose any class abilities due to this change.  If you are already true neutral, you gain +2 Wis.
13-15  Smug know-it-all: Once per session after another PC has blown some non-combat roll of some sort you may attempt to do the exact same thing, but with a +2 to the roll.  You may do this with things anyone can do, like listening at doors, but you may also attempt specialty skill you don't even have, like disarming traps.
16-17  You know the basics of piloting/operating some kind of high tech vehicle.  You can bank this knowledge until you need it, then announce with a grin "Sure, I know how to fly a T-16 Skyhopper!" or whatever.
19-20  You don't survive the cosmos by paying retail.  Once per session you may make a purchase at 75% of list price.
21-23  You've knocked back so many Pangalactic Gargle Blasters in filthy dives across the multiverse that you are now +2 to save versus any ingested poison.  Rerolls of this increase the bonus by an additional +2.
24-25  Once per session when you have to make a die roll where only sheer dumb luck is involved (i.e. no modifiers for skill or items or anything else), you may take the better of two rolls.
26  You can see the cracks in the structures of individual universes, allowing you to dimension door once per session.
27-28  Before someone near you does something that will rip a hole in the fabric of reality, you get a Wisdom check to recognize what a Very Bad Idea it is.  Reroll if you get this result again.
29-31  You gain a random mutation.
32-33  You seen and done so much, it's getting harder and harder to surprise you.  Any time you are surprised for one or more actions, you may make a Wisdom check to avoid one segment of surprise.  Reroll if you get this result again.
34  Weird pet: go through some monster book and find a critter (not a person) of hit dice equal to half you level.  It cannot be an ordinary earth animal.  One such creature is now your special buddy.
35-36  You've bummed around with so many wizards and elfs and whatnot that you've picked up an extra bit of magic.  You gain a random MU spell of d6 level as a once per session power, but you have to make an Int roll to cast it successfully.  If you roll a 20 it goes hilariously awry.
37-39  Neanderthals and other cave primitives just immediately realize that you're cool.  +2 reaction rolls from the paleolithic set.  If you roll this again, gain a cave person as a henchweenie.  Reroll the third and subsequent occurrences of this item.
40-41  You learn a new language for a monster species not normally considered to be a sentient speaking race, like Green Slimish or Skeletonese.  You may parlay with members of this species as if they were regular people.
42  There's a certain hill on the southern continent of the Dreamworld where you once got a really good panoramic view of the entirety of Creation.  It was pretty rad.  Since most confusion effects are based on overriding the brain's ability to filter out the complexities of the cosmos, you are now immune to confusion attacks.  Reroll if you get this result again.
43-44  You gain a loyal first level henchweirdo.  They cannot belong to a race or class in any D&D core rulebook.
45-47  You spend a LOT of time talking yourself out of trouble.  +1 Cha.
48-49  Choose a standard class.  It cannot be your own.  You may now use any magic item allowed to that class.
Jenny Everywhere
by Diana Nock
50  You make a lot of strange friends bumming around the cosmos.  You may declare that a hostile or indifferent nonhuman but intelligent monster is, in fact, an old drinking buddy.  Roll (or reroll) reactions at +2 on the dice.  This works once.
51-52  You understand the basics of operating machinery and electronics well beyond the ken of most people from backwater medieval fantasy universes.  There's always at least a 1 in 6 chance you really screw up, though.  Reroll if you get this result again.
53-55  You're really good at jury-rigging repairs with whatever is handy.  Once per session you can fix a broken or malfunctioning device with an Intelligence check, but the DM can require the sacrifice of any d6 items you and your friends happen to have on them.  Reroll if you get this result again.
56-57  Any time you are swallowed whole by a monster they must save versus poison or puke you up.  Reroll if you get this result again.
58  Dogs just like you.  +1 reactions from any canine encountered.
59-60  You pick up some training in another class.  Pick any other random advancement chart (including the ones for other races), you may now use that chart for one advancement roll per level.
61-63  Smooth talker from out of town: +1 reaction rolls to seduce people who have never left their home universe.
64-65  Any time you would take half damage from a successful save, you can take no damage instead BUT you must sacrifice either an item in your hand or something you are wearing.  Reroll if you get this result again.
66  You can sometimes see into extra dimensions.  Once per session you can see invisible, ethereal, astral, etc. stuff for up to 1 turn.  Rerolls add 1 turn to the duration.  Reroll if you get this result again.
67-68  You gain +1 on finding secret doors.  +2 if rolling on a d20.
69-71 Once per session you may pull a useful item out of your pocket/backpack/whatever.  This item is roughly as useful as anything on the standard miscellaneous equipment list, but it can't be any of those objects.  Like if you need rope, you can't select that but you could have a folding ladder in your backpack.
72-73  Once per session if the DM is using a die roll to see who among the party is attacked or affected by something bad, you can simply opt out of the determination.  It's as if you weren't there.
74  You can immediately recognize a wand of wonder or any other magic item with a similar random chart of dumb effects for what it is, just by looking at it.  If you roll this again, you may use such items and make an Int roll to control what happens (i.e. you get to look at the table and pick an effect).  If you roll a 20 then d6 effects happen to you and you alone.  Reroll the third and subsequent rolls on this chart.
75-76  If come across a magic portal that is dangerous in any way (like maybe it zaps for damage when you use it), you get an Int check to recognize that fact before you use it.  Reroll if you get this result again.
77-79  You've picked up a little Venusian Aikido somewhere along the way.  Roll on the Red Dragon Fighting Society chart.
80-81  Demons and other extraplanar entities can see from your aura that you are a walker among worlds and not some local yokel.  You have +1 reaction rolls when parlaying with such beings.  Rerolls increase the modifier.
82  Whenever you find yourself suddenly dropped into a hostile environment (under water, in a volcano, on the moon, in the heart of a black hole, etc.) you may make a save versus magic to act normally, sustaining no environmental penalties or damage, for d6 turns.  You may do this exactly once.
83-84  The next time you are subject to a curse effect it somehow skips you and is inflicted on another random party member.  This works just once.
85-86  Wanderers such a hobos, nomads, the Galactica refugee fleet, etc., recognize you as one of their own.  They will hide you from the police, smuggle you and your friends across the border, etc, but you may end up having to marry someone to get their help.
87-89  If you have any missing or mangled body parts, you gain a cybernetic replacement at some chopshop down the street from Callahan's Crosstime Saloon.  If you are not missing an eye or a hand or whatever, roll d10 on this chart to find your new mechanical enhancements:
  1. Xray Eye - Clairvoyance 1/session
  2. Lazor Eyes - Shoot beam attacks up to 120' for 2d6 damage, 10 shots then recharges over 24 hours
  3. Flame Arm - Integral flamethrower 3d6 save for half, cone 30' long, 20' wide, once per session
  4. Robo Arms - +2 Str
  5. Murder Hand - One of your hands is now a vicious melee weapon of some sort, doing d8 damage.  Choose randomly which hand it is.  If it's your sword arm, you're +2 to hit.  If it's your off arm you get a second attack per round at -2.
  6. Robo Legs - +20' per round running speed
  7. Dermal Plating - +1 AC
  8. Filter Lungs - +4 saves versus poison gas
  9. CyberLiver - +2 saves versus ingested poisons
  10. ComputoBrain - +2 Int, -2 Cha, +2 saves versus charms
Reroll if the same enhancement comes up a second time.

90-91  You are +2 to-hit with your favorite weapon.  If you lose that specific weapon, it will take you a whole session with no bonus to adjust to a new one.  You cannot simply replace the weapon with a better one, the old one must be lost or destroyed.  If this is rolled again, you gain +2 damage as well.  A third roll grants you an extra attack each round with the specific weapon.  Reroll subsequent rolls of this item.
92  If you are ever teleported stealthily, like in a labyrinth to mess up mapping, you instantly know you've been ported.
93-94  You gain +1 to a random stat.
95-97  If you are a spellcaster, you gain a new spell slot one level higher than you should.  If you are not a caster, you gain random 1st level spell from your choice of the cleric or MU charts s a daily power.
98-99  Your body and equipment now vibrate at a strange frequency.  Any attacks by you count as silver or cold iron.  If you roll this again, they count as +1 magic.  Reroll subsequent rolls of this item.
100  The next time you die you leave a pile of empty clothes, like Ben Kenobi.  You reappear elsewhere in the cosmos, bereft of equipment but alive.  This works only once.  You may never return to the world where you died without immediately dropping dead. 

Saturday, September 16, 2017

not available anywhere


My good buddy Pat has been working on his screenprinting skills and made this cool shirt for me!  Facefist Hatemachine is one of the giants you can encounter in the pages of Broodmother Skyfortress.  It is also name of my metal band (which does not exist).  The illo is by Ian Maclean, who did super work on the book.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Vaults of Vyzor, session 17

Roster

Barnabus Sleet, muscle wizard (Maxim Golubchik)
Dale Bidwell, fighter/valet (NPC)
Emma Bright-Eyes, likely lass (NPC)
Yohey the Carpenter, LotFP specialist (Anthony Fournier)
Brutal Pete, dwarf (Aleksandr Revzin)
Adam o' the Dungheap, mercenary (NPC)
Diagast Ratnight, cleric (Jay Murphy)

One day before the most recent expedition to the Vaults a known Muscle Wizard, Library Founder, and possible Wizard War Provoker by the name of Barnabus Sleet throws a massive block party where he sacrifices and then barbecues dozens of goats.  Pretty much all the ne'er-do-wells in the vicinity of Castle Vyzor attend.  Maybe goat's not on everyone's personal list of top 10 barbecue meats, but, hey, a free meal is a free meal.

BBQ enthusiast Ed McBride, pictured above, used to play
a lot of D&D.  He sold his custom dragon BBQ rig for 65 large.

Turns out the sacrifice part of the goat-b-q was used to cast the infamous Lamentations of the Flame Princess spell Summon.  This allowed Sleet to call up a random demon. Ramanan Sivaranjan's excellent online LotFP demon generator was consulted, as was my own goetic demon name generator.  And out of the fire appeared a pile of vaguely anthropomorphic seaweed with the trait "reflective genitalia."  That's LotFP for you, I guess.  A further die roll determined that the genitalia in question were male, and the creature was dubbed Gachos Disco-Wang.

A pair of local clerics protested the summoning.
The next day the now eight strong party entered the Citrine Vaults.  The first real stop was the orc's armory.  No guards happened to be about, so they just helped themselves to some free weapons and armor.

They found the orcish temple (previous looted at least twice!) under construction, a gang of goblin working stiffs building a cage-type reliquary in the west end of the chamber.  The party posed as unholy building inspectors (having a demon along helped this out tremendously).  Yohey the Carpenter inspected the reliquary, hoping to install a secret catch to open it later when it is presumably full of valuable artifacts.  Turns out the goblins were already working on that themselves!

In the rec room they found a bunch of orcs shooting pool and one old orc tending bar.  Gachos the demon ordered drinks and acted like he belonged there and the orcs believed it.  Once again the party bypassed an unnecessary fight.

Following that near adventure, the party visited the pantry via a pair of secret doors.  Turns out the poisoning attempted last session had only killed the boss orc's food taster and now a rigorous system of food inspection has been instigated.  Well, rigorous for orcs any way.  They make a gnome taste all incoming supplies.

Speaking of gnomes, they found a pair of badly beaten gnome women working the orcish kitchens.  They refused to escape with the party, as they feared repercussions against their families.  It turns out that the gnomes of Verdant II recently lost a pitched battle to the orcs and now the badguys are in charge of the areas of the dungeon previously held by the gnomes.  All the gnomes are dead or enslaved.  Barnabus swore to set this matter aright in a future expedition.

The Hexahedron of Erno.  Mostly harmless. 
Taking the stairs down to Citrine II, the party surprised and slaughtered the morloi prison guards, again cosplaying as Jokers and Harleys for reasons that remain unexplained.  The morloi were easy to sneak up on, as they were all fascinated by this strange object one of them had in her possession.

After killer the jailers of the morloi prison, the party freed another prisoner.  He was there last session and the previous party never checked his cell.  The prisoner was a dwarf named Thombur.  He was being tortured by the morloi by having the world's slowest Bag of Devouring placed on his head.  That's why he's called Thombur No-face now.  Dude is a little unhinged.

Emma Bright-Eyes tore a strip of cloth
from her dress to bandage the poor bastard.
The party proceeded down to the third level of the Citrine Vault.  There they captured an old morloi Bishop of Chaos, who they hoped to use as a hostage to get through the temple.  That didn't go to plan, as the high priestess never like him that much.  In the ensuing fight a bunch of morloi cultist were slain.  The high priestess almost got away, but a timely hold person from Diagast spelled her doom.  Barnabus ended up grappling with a morloi mutant with tentacles where his arms should be.  Brutal Pete took the worst hit of the night, a critical hit to the groin with a mace, sending him to the floor in agony.  But he and his wedding tackle survived.  Thombur also went down at one point, but he was revived later.  The old bishop slunk away during the fight.

After looting the bejesus out of the temple of the morloi, the party arrived at their goal: the Red Dragon Fighting Society dojo.  A sneaky suggestion spell from Barnabus allowed the party to negotiate a discount for their membership fee in the society and a bunch of people learned kung-fu, even some of the NPCs.  Emma Bright-eyes, that lovable young lass, advanced to first level in the Muscle Wizard class AND learned some kick-ass martial arts moves!

The party returned to the surface and several people got sloppy drunk while carousing.  While thus intoxicated Barnabus returned to the house of the Ink Witches and professed his love for Gretcha the Half-Orc.  His heart was broken when she revealed that she was in a committed relationship with her two wives, the other witches.

The next day a hung-over-as-hell Barnabus remembers his deal with the Sorcerer of the Blue Mask (details here) and rushes over to the Azure Tower to receive his geas to slay King Elexus.

Thus ends Phase I of the Vaults of Vyzor campaign.  Phase II is Total War Against the Unseelie Court, as Barnabus, Rose Royce, Szazsraz the Lizard Wizard, and Laurantha the Unbeautiful finds themselves the inadvertent lieutenants of the Sorcerer of the Blue Mask.  Most sessions will focus on one of the four leading a party into the Azure Vaults to destroy that jerk the Elf King.

ONGOING ROLL OF THE DEAD

Bufo the Wizard (Makali’i F), Beefo the Gerblin Drinking Buddy (NPC), Willy Whats-His-Name (0-level Loser), Poor Brother Rupert (cleric hireling), unnamed serving boy (0-level hireling), Gwalin Rustbritches (dwarf hireling), Jarrod the Magic-User (Ian Reilly), Jonesy (0-level NPC), Little Liam Linkboy (0-level NPC), Limpy the Naileteer (Jeff Call), Engsal the Enchanter (Alex Joneth), Elfbraham Lincoln (Jeff Call)., Littlens (0-level NPC), Biggens (0-level NPC), Stimpy (0-level NPC), Ren (0-level NPC)

AZURE TOWER GUEST LIST

Barnabus Sleet (Maxim Golubchik), Laurantha the Unbeautiful (Cullen), Big Gnome (Luke Rejec), Szazsraz the Wizard Lizard (Chris Wilson), Rose Royce (Kiel Chenier), Sneakerly Trull (Zak S.), Ilse Raagenkampf (Perttu Vedenoja), Persimion Finch (Galen Fogarty), Magic Meryl (Nick Kuntz), Merrill Meadows (Michael Julius), Chef (Richie Cyngler)

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

a Vaults of Vyzor interlude

This post will only make sense if you read this G+ post first.

Throne Room by DeviantArtist znodden
Barnabus Sleet, Rose Royce, Szazsraz the Lizard Wizard, and Laurantha the Unbeautiful have been summoned to the Azure Tower.  They are hurried into the throne room of the Sorcerer of the Blue Mask.  This chamber is too large to be properly inside the tower, but that sort of trickery is perhaps less surprising than the mere fact that you find yourself in the awful presence of the Sorcerer himself.  He does not seem to be happy.

Sorcerer: Fools!  Your precious little library threatens to upset the delicate balance of power!  Already, the doddering dullards of the Invisible College of Thaumaturgy have threatened sanctions!  Envoys from the Magisters of the Tholite Quintessence arrive shortly, undoubtedly to do the same.  If those two factions align...

A crow alights on a windowsill, cawing to all that will listen.  Only then do you notice the two moons in the night sky outside.  You recognize neither of them.

The Sorcerer's jester, a half-orc with teeth of brass and a face as ugly as a Friday quitting time traffic jam, retrieves a small slip of paper tied to the crow's leg.  He hands it to his master, who glances at it and sighs.

Sorcerer:  And here it is.  The inevitable offer of aid and friendship from the Crimson King of Chaos.  If the Invisible College and the Tholite Quintessence join forces against me, I'll have little choice but to throw in my lot with that cosmic abomination.  But the worst of it is that you vagabonds and miscreants have endangered decades of planning and years of work.  I can't continue to contain the threat of the Unseelie King if half the wizards in the multiverse think I'm trying to undermine their precious spell monopolies!  And you!  (He gestures at the Lizard Wizard.)  Don't you think you've done enough damage already?  If you all weren't such bumblers, I'd suspect you were agents of my enemies!


A moment of silence falls upon the hall.

Sorcerer: Well, what have you to say for yourselves?!?

Maxim, Kiel, Chris, Cullen, please feel free to reply in character on the G+ thread.  To note that you are speaking in character, please flag it as though it was the script of a play, as I have done above for the Sorcerer's lines.